iguanamouth:

last year one night me and my old roommates were all playing twister and mike was on the spinner and halfway through the game he kind of mumbled to himself “i sure hope im calling these right” and then everyone in the room simultaneously remembered that mike was colorblind

Does anyone want to come and curl my hair for me whilst i just continue sitting in bed??

"Just because you miss someone, it doesn’t mean you should go back to them. Sometimes you have to just keep missing them until you wake up one morning and realise that you don’t anymore."
many-splendored-rat:

Philip has become addicted to tickling & now he stands poised like this whenever I get near the cage & as soon as I tickle him, he goes galloping off, crushing his smaller cagemates & tripping over boxes & whatnot, & then he comes running back for more tickles.

many-splendored-rat:

Philip has become addicted to tickling & now he stands poised like this whenever I get near the cage & as soon as I tickle him, he goes galloping off, crushing his smaller cagemates & tripping over boxes & whatnot, & then he comes running back for more tickles.

eternalstereks:

Look, I like Malia but she’s been in 3 episodes already and she’s gonna be a main character and appear in the opening while Isaac was in over 30+ episodes and he never got any credit for it.

posted 14 hours ago with 3 notes
In other news today do you think getting a nose job would be worth it, or would I still look a little like a pig?

In other news today do you think getting a nose job would be worth it, or would I still look a little like a pig?

neutral-voice:

ohdearhermione:

do you ever feel like your future is slipping away while you’re laughing at stupid puns on tumblr

My future isn’t slipping. It’s tumbling

I want to sleep with you. Not have sex, just sleep. With you. I want to breathe on your neck and lock our legs together. I want…actually wait no I do want sex.

oh my god there is a bee outside my window that is coming for me and i don’t know if it wants to kill me or reenact the bee movie but both terrify me equally and I am very very afraid

thewicked-eternity